Losing a child changes us. Those of you who haven’t experienced the loss of a child are reading this thinking, “Well, obviously”. But the changes I’m talking about lie far beyond the surface of what is perceived by others. We are robbed of our innocence. We are exiled from the place where our non-loss peers … Continue reading A New Point of View
Grief is terrifying. It can be so daunting. As a previous outsider to infant loss, I often wondered to myself why SO much grief was felt for SO long after a loss took place. I now hate myself for even thinking such a thought. Although, sometimes I do wish I was that naive again. It … Continue reading Only One Road
“In a way, I feel that I’m grieving the last of the firsts… just as I am grieving the time survived without her. The more time goes by, the further away I feel from her. More and more time wedges itself in between the place where she existed together with us. That distance is terrifying. It’s haunting. And it just gets worse as the days, months and years go by.”
It’s easy. Quite possibly the easiest thing to do. Blaming ourselves. We look for fault in tragedy because it’s easier for us to cast our emotions and heavy burdens upon someone or something specific. But, when there is no one or nothing responsible for something terrible happening, then we have no choice but to carry … Continue reading What If?
I carry you with me everywhere I go. From the moment the morning sun rises above the horizon to the moment the moon and stars light up the night and every second beyond that. I carry you with me. Even in my dreams. But, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder if you … Continue reading Where Are You?
The following is a letter I wrote to my daughter, Eleanor in the weeks following her death.
My emotions were incredibly raw at this time. As I reflect back on my words…
For me, the balance between grief and joy has been one of the biggest challenges. After losing our daughter Ellie last July, I’ve found myself constantly wondering the answer to these questions: How? HOW in the world do I manage to move forward grieving the loss of my baby girl AND find joy in continuing … Continue reading A Balancing Act
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